Love Hurts

Kapag ready ka na daw mainlove ibig sabihin ready ka na din masaktan. Totoo. I agree. Kasi naniniwala ako na hindi ka masasaktan kung hindi totoo ung pagmamahal na nararamdaman mo. Masarap magmahal at palagay ko ito na ang pinakamagandang creation ni God para sa tao. Pero sa emotion na to kasama din ang pinakamasakit - ang masaktan. Bakit nga ba kelangan pang masaktan kung nagmamahal ka? Bakit kung sino pa ung taong nagmamahal ng totoo, siya pa ung madalas masaktan? Anlabo db? Pero un ung harsh truth. 

Magmahal o masaktan? Kahit magmahal lang piliin mo, pinili mo din ang masaktan. Wala namang taong gustong masaktan kaya nga never sumasagi sa utak ng tao na masasaktan siya not until maramdaman nia na un. Hindi ready kasi hindi naman pinlano talaga. At sino bang nagpaplano nito? Aus ka kung ineexpect mo na dadating ka dito. Pero bakit nga ba kelagan pa talagang masaktan?

EMOtional

Marahil narinig mo na ang salitang EMO. Ung in na in na salita ngaun kung saan madalas ay natatawa ka pag naririnig mo. Bakit? Kasi nirerelate mo cia sa mga taong masyadong madamdamin ang buhay. Ung mga taong kaya daw magpakamatay dahil sa sobrang kalungkutan. Well, sila nga ba tlga un?

Naniniwala ako na ang pagiging EMO ay dinadaanan lahat ng tao. Oo, maniwala ka! Mahirap sigurong tanggapin o malamang nagrereact ka na ngaun kasi feeling mo hindi ka naging EMO kahit minsan. Lahat ng tao may problema. Abnormal ka nga daw kung wala kang poblema. Pero kung EMO ka, madalas na ang problema mo ay problema sa puso, tama? Sino bang hindi nagkaproblema sa love o pagibig? Ikaw? Owss! kahit balibaligtarin natin ang mundo, alam ko nagkaproblema ka na sa pagibig! Hahaha! 

What if...

What if we were wrong about each other

What if you were really made for me

What if we were supposed to be together

Would that not mean anything

What if that was supposed to be my house

that you go home to everyday

How can you be sure that things are better

if you cant be sure your heart ain’t still here with me

Still wanting me

Moving on is the hardest phase of being in love... because we cannot accept the fact that things have endings and we can no longer do about it but "let it be" and move on with our life. We keep thinking that there are still hopes and ways to bring back the old times. Then we also keep filling out the phrase What if?... But if you think about, keeping asking those questions to yourself will make everything worse only on your part especially when the one you are thinking those with had already chose another path in her life... and that journey is with someone else.

lyrics excerpt from: What if

singer: Babyface

Still Crazy After All These Years

I am crazy, people are crazy sometimes. And being crazy at times is fun and enjoying but not to the point that you are hurting anyone. The craziness I am pertaining to are moments or events in your life that are worth sharing. Those were memories that you will no longer forget and still on your mind until the present. On the other side, there are also people's craziness that makes us sad in an instance or in a moment. These are memories in our lives that we cannot forget and continue hurting us when in fact we should be forgetting them and buried them once and for all. But something inside of you keeps reminiscing these, for the most times that you don't want to... That's why I called this "crazy."

I just keep wondering why there are events in my life that I can't help to forget... but i want to forget! Its so damn unfair. What's worst is its the same pain you will feel back the time you first felt it. Can this be a sign that I haven't move at all? A sign that I didn't grow. Why are there moments in my life that were so painful back then but laughing at it now? Can't be all sad memories be like that?

I want to move on... and I know life goes on. Time won't stop for me and I know I must go with the flow of life. I may not realize people and things surrounding me already change except me. I don't want to be on that, i mean who wants to?

They say the book of life has many pages and chapters. Once one chapter ended, you will not close the book, instead move to the next chapter and continue filling out the pages.

Easier said than done.

Heart of Mine

One day, you may
find true love that will last forever and ever
'till then you'll spend
a lifetime wishing one together

You never thought she'd say goodbye

And you will never understand the reasons why

This is the hardest part of people's live. We mistakenly thought a person to be by your side for the rest of your life when in fact she'll just leave you in the end. People told me that its not bad to love someone and give your 100% but sometimes leaving at least 1% for yourself is better. True Love... how can we know if true love is already there?.. I guess no one can answer that but yourself and your heart. Heartbreaks are part of man's life. What's only unfair is we cannot dictate what our heart should feel especially in times of healing. Why does it hurts so much when you keep reminiscing your happy moments?... why does it hurt so much seeing her with someone else? Why...

lyrics excerpt from: Heart of Mine

Singer: Janno Gibbs

 

Why do I love you

Why do I love you
Why did you hurt my heart then away
Why did you take my love away
Why do I keep on waiting
And hoping yet I know
That you could never be mine again...

There are cases in our life that we didn't mind waiting in vain for the rest of our life... for person that we truly love... waiting and hoping that someday she'll realize your worth and miss the moments you were together. But sometimes we often realize that somethings are not really meant to happen at all. Or should I say we deny the fact that things you wanted to happen will no longer exist... It's amazing how life changes in just a snap of a finger. You think she still needs you but its the either way around... she wants you out of her life... but despite this, you still keep hanging on. :'c

lyrics excerpt from: Why Do I Love You

singer: Metafour

Without you

Never noticed what it feels like to be without you
Feels like I took my last step and my last breathe 
And my life ended

Had to say just what I was feeling, girl
'Cause my sun doesn't shine 

without you.

People regret a lot of things in their life... mistakes that we usually just realize when people that we mostly love already left our life. Their importance and role in your life become more distinct once they are already gone. This is one of human's weakness... we failed to foresee what will happen next because we usually just take a snapshot of what is currently happening in our life. Then, one day you'll just wake up that you are all alone... you'll realize that there's something missing in your life... you feel incomplete... without his/her.

lyrics excerpt from: Without You

Singer: Charlie Wilson

LSS - Terminal -

I just came across the song Terminal sung by Rupert Holmes on my Ipod. I can't even remember when did I put that song on my playlist... hmmm.. going back... it's also a very good timing that I was riding the bus when this song starts playing on my earphones.. and the song goes like this.. (see also my interpretation below)

I've come back this mornin' to where I first came alive
Here within this terminal where the buses arrive 

I was a commuter on the 804
Work for a computer on the 19th floor and...

You came down the aisle of the bus and you sat by my side
Shoulder up to shoulder we shared that 9 o'clock ride
Oh, my heart was screamin' as you left your seat
Followin' your movements I was at your feet and...

Oh, down into the terminal both of us smiled
So we entered the terminal just as you smiled
"Won't you leave out work for today?" you ask of me then
So I phoned-in-sick on the way to the home of a friend
We were all alone from 10 A.M. till 3
Really thought the fire had gone out of me but...

You awoke the sleep of my life from gray into red
Made the weary wonder of Wall Street rise from the dead
Could have held up budding my entire life
But I had to get home to the kids and the wife and...
So I left for the terminal where I began
Baby, no, I wouldn't have left if I'd been half a man

So here I am this morning where love had asked for the dance
Here within this terminal where I passed on a chance
Lord, I'll never find her though I've truly tried
Probably she's found another bus to ride and...

I am now about to begin the last of my days
I'm within what others would call a terminal phase
I myself can only say it's livin' dead
Ridin' to the office with a song in my head that goes...

La da da...
And you know it grows
La da da...
Oh, la da da...
Oh, la da da...

My Interpretation
This is a very sad story of a man finding his true love in a wrong time and wrong situation. You can feel in the lyrics that the man really fell in love... and as if the woman was really her soulmate... Some part of the lyrics says "You awoke the sleep of my life from gray into red. Made the weary wonder of Wall Street rise from the dead." This only shows that the man felt life again after meeting the girl. And he wanted the woman to be with him forever but unfortunately he is already a father to his kids and a husband to his wife. A less than half a man he was. He would have choose to be with the girl if he was not committed.  He gave up his personal happiness for what is currently important also for him... A given up true love for what he thinks must matter on his present life. And he was left going crazy over love.

Love really makes people crazy. That's true.

Sana

Wala na bang makakapantay 

at di na ba dapat pang maghintay
Ako lang ba ang nagkasala?
Kumakapit sa natitirang...

Sana.

one tEXt

It is now my birthday and expecting alot of greetings.

from friends, family, long lost friends, officemates, my Bosses :)

But although I really think that She will me greet today, I didn't expect that it really did impact me. Just one text and boom!, here we go again. But, maybe the difference is I can now control myself compare to last time. I replied...


"Thanks. Ingat Lagi"

That's it... and back to what I am doing.

I really don't want to get affected again.

period.

- Lestat :)

emote na naman

Ipipikit ko ang aking mata dahil
Nais ka lamang mahagkan
Nais ko lamang masilayan
Kahit alam kong tapos na
Kahit alam kong wala ka na!

- Lestat :'c

eiGht

I guess there's really no infinite in life. 

A moment has its ending... 

A thing has its expiration... 

A feeling has its limit.

sad.

- Lestat :'c

Someday

Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared

I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the last girl on earth
Well I’ve got news for you
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

'Coz Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday someday

Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry, sweet goodbye

- Lestat :)

Beer

"Ibuhos na ang beer sa aking lalamunan"

Sa lahat ng inumin, palagay ko ang beer na ang pinakamabenta. Kung san may celebration andun siya at di mawawala. Mapabirthday, binyag, kasalan, minsan kahit happy Friday lang okei na. hehe! Pero ang pinakamadalas na kasama nian eh ung mga problemado. Problemado sa buhay, sa lovelife, sa family, sa skul at kung san san pa.

Minsan ko na din namang naging kadamay ang beer sa problema. Di ba sabi nga nila, kung di kaya sa mabuting usapan, idaan na lang sa maBOTEng usapan. Mas masarap pa ngang kasama ang bote.. atleast un hindi ka iiwan.. until supplies last... anggat may 7eleven at Ministop, dehins ka mauubusan ng supply. hehe! 

Masarap ding makipagkwentuhan pag anjan ang beer sa lamesa. Bukod sa sobrang ingay na (na halos lahat bumabangka na pag tinamaan na), lumalabas din ang tunay na saloobin tungkol sa mga usapin lalo na sa usaping pagkakaibigan. May mga nagkakaaminan din minsan dahil sa alak. At may mga sikretong nabubunyag! haha! 

Lumuha na din ako kasamaang beer. Isa un sa mga moments ko na hindi ko makakalimutan sa buhay ko. Sa beer na din ako kumuha ng lakas para magpakatotoo sa sarili ko at sa nararamdaman ko. Naging karamay sa mga panahong sobrang down ako at pakiramdam ko ay nagiisa ako.

Iba talaga ang hiwagang dala ng beer sa buhay ng tao. 

Paalala: Kung masosobrahan sa beer, wag dadalin sa utak, sa tiyan lang. haha!

- Lestat :)

Just a thought

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.”

-anonymous

- Lestat :)