Silence. Unspoken. Unstated.
Words. Terms. Expressions.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Love for her (still...)

Still You.

People have different perception of what happiness and success in life is.
You may heard the simplest explanation from a simple person or the most
complex reason to be happy to the most complicated person you have ever met.
But these reasons all root to the love that we wanted to feel and embrace
while we are still alive in this planet. People are born selfish and I agree
to that. We focus more on achieving our own goals and happiness in life rather
than thinking of "others." I once believe that I can give up mine and offer it to
someone else and thought that someday, I know, I would just pick-up my happiness
from the arms of someone whom I am yet to meet.
Time passed.

It's tested! I am not as patient as what others are. I always say that "True
waits" and that I must not pressure myself looking for it. I would say
now that those were mere LIES. Instead. I would say "True love waits for those
who fight for it." I have made the worst decision in my life - when I PRETEND
that I let you go.

Am I really stupid to let this happen to me? Now I am here reminiscing the
memories that we were still together, the happy and sad memories that we once
shared. I would have not thought about it if I am not feeling it until now.
It's still you, the girl that I want to be with. Nothing has changed. All the
unintended words that came out of my mouth are coming back and slapping right
in front of my face... and I don't have the GUTS to avoid it.

For the past year I didn't feel the peace of mind that I dream of. I tried, I
tried hard and harder. I always feel that a day is a chasing day. I am always
looking and searching for the obsession that could answer all my questions.
Being patient is a must and that is what I did. I am not sure if this is
already the end of the line and my impatience is now eating me alive. Where is
it? Did I found it? Would you believe me that yes I found it? I found it but I
cannot have it. Or I once have it but can no longer own it. I was really
surprise that after all these months, the happiness I once defined was still
the definition I have come up with.  

Happiness is YOU.

I may be too late to tell you this and you may ignore this but I wouldn't let
another stupid and freak brain of mine to have this passed by. If there is one
thing I've learned when we were apart, that would be to be TRUE to myself and
that chance comes only once. And I'd better grab it.


Mharliz said...

ang masasabi ko lang nakarelate ako.
I share the same pain and longing.
I hope for your wanted happiness...
For the mean time let's just be patient.. ^^

Benh said...

Haha! tama! wala namang ibang way eh.

Halyse said...

Malamang nga, wala nang ibang magagawa. Pero patience is is virtue, 'di ba Kuya? Pero kung puro ka lang antay, at wala kang ginagawa, wala kang maaabot. (:

Try mo kayang sabihin sa kanya 'to personally, Kuya?

Benh said...

@Halyse I should... but it's too late. (you know what i mean?)... but that wont stop me from loving her the way i know how to.. I still love her and that wont fade.. Un nga lang, i need to move with life all by myself this time.